4/27/18 – UPDATE

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It’s been a while and I wanted to give an update on me and my writing because this matters to me and if you’re reading this, maybe it matters to you, too.

  • It’s been almost a full year since Good You Were Here went live on Amazon! Craziness. To celebrate the anniversary (May 19th) I’m probably going to be doing a giveaway. More on that in the future.
  • I finished a first draft of my short play, Royal Bring Your Dog to Dinner Day. I was writing it for a local homeschool group and learned they are not actually going to be performing a play this year. No worries. It was a lot of fun and I look forward to seeing it performed sometime in 2019.
  • After finishing the play, I picked back up my 2015 NaNo Novel Tulip Season. There’s a lot of very good stuff there but it needs some work and some revising. Not a lot of headway on that but we’ll see. Definitely a story I want to finish and send out into the world sooner than later.
  • I got a little bit stuck and overwhelmed with Tulip Season since it’s a longer book, so I picked back up a story I’ve been developing probably since 2010. It has a working title of Beanstalk and Basket and it’s a crossover of Jack and the Beanstalk and Little Red Riding Hood. I’m really excited at the prospect of writing a book for a younger audience since my 13-year-old sister and 8-year-old brother love reading and have been asking me for books geared more towards them.

There are several reasons why I’ve been more absent for almost a month from my blog and from my writing social media in general. I’ve been busy with: life in general, my two other jobs, family/friends/relationship. But I’ve also been struggling with a general lack of sleep, some anxiety, and imposter syndrome.

If you aren’t familiar with imposter syndrome, Wikipedia defines it thus: “Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.”

For me, this has meant feeling like my writing isn’t ‘that good’, that no one really cares about my writing, that I’m too lazy to be a full-time writer, that I should stop trying to make it more than a hobby because I’ll just be wasting my time, and that no one will take me seriously. I have good support systems helping me overcome this but it’s going to be a process. Over this last month, I kept wanting to give updates, especially as I was tip-typing away and making progress on stories, but I kept thinking, “Eh, no one cares, it doesn’t really matter.”

But it does matter. A lot. Stories matter and no one else can tell the stories I have to tell. It may be slow going, but there’s no reason I can’t potentially help support myself with my writing. It will take a lot of hard work, but I’m capable of hard work. I want to put in the work. I just have to believe it matters.

So there’s my update. It is still my goal to have a blog post up every Tuesday and Friday. My overall writing goal for the year is to publish at least one book. I had originally had the lofty ambition of publishing at least three books, but I’m okay with downsizing that goal so I can put out something truly beautiful.

Thank you for reading and thank you for sticking with me. Stories coming soon, I promise. 

God bless,

Clare

 

Related Posts:

Future Projects – 1

What I Wrote Today 4

It Is Good That We Are Here – The Why Behind the Title

 

 

Starting Over

I have officially started re-writing Being Daniel. I opened a new document and labeled it Being Daniel Draft 4. I’ve taken my outline and I am going to rewrite the entire book, scene by scene.

Why?

I am so horribly burnt out on this book, it makes me want to cry tears of rage just looking at it. I’ve been plugging away at it for months now and while the story is pretty good, it’s incomplete. There are holes. It’s really badly written. It’s making me mad and I want to quit.

I’ve decided that, instead of quitting, I’m going to start over. I’m not sure how but, as I was writing this book (really fast, I might add), stuff went awry. I have no sense of who my two main characters are. That is unacceptable. I believe this story is important and beautiful, but I have messed up somewhere along the line.

This is one of the perks of self-publishing. I can set my own pace and pursue the projects my heart is in. That being said, I had originally committed to publishing Being Daniel on December 14th. It’s been almost a month since then and I haven’t even touched it since November started.

So, here’s my plan. I am going to hit Being Daniel hard for the rest of the month of January. If on February 1st it’s still misery and suffering just to look at it, I’ll let it go and move on to something else. I quit writing from 2012 to 2015 because people kept telling me, “You have to finish all those unfinished books sitting on your computer before you can start something new.” And it absolutely killed any desire I had to write. The truth about me as a writer is that sometimes, no matter how much I grind away at it, a story just isn’t going to come. It isn’t ready.

That might be the case with Being Daniel, but I’m going to give it a try.

Thank you to everyone who beta-read Being Daniel in its original form. Please don’t feel as though it was a waste of time — I was able to come to this decision because of your feedback and concerns.

February 1st, I will either announce a tentative publication date or that Being Daniel is being put into storage indefinitely. I have a goal to publish three books this year, and while Being Daniel was intended to be the first of those three, I can’t let it slow me down or stall me out completely.

Thanks for reading. Stories coming soon, I promise — and new post coming Friday!

God bless,

Clare

 

Other posts on Being Daniel

Writing Alcohol

Being Daniel – 95 Days To Go

What I Wrote Today 1

Being Daniel – 95 Days to GO

I got a countdown app to keep track of how many days to go until the publication date I’ve set for Being Daniel – December 14th, 2017 (my 23rd birthday). So here we are with 95 days to go, and I’d like to share a few random facts about this early Christmas present I’ll be sending you guys:

    1. Being Daniel is not actually finished, but it’s getting there. My goal is to be done writing the story by October 1st, which gives me all of October to edit and all of November to get it proof-read and perfect for you.
    2. Current word count for Being Daniel is approximately 37,000. Good You Were Here has a total word count of 33,318, so I’m guessing BD will be around 42,000 when all is said and done. Hopefully, no one minds a longer book that costs just a little more. (My guess is Being Daniel will be an even $10, if you’re curious.)
    3. I don’t have cover art finalized for BD, but here’s my initial prototype:

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      Look familiar? Yep. I’m purposefully trying to recreate the look from the GYWH cover.

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    4. While Good You Were Here and Being Daniel are technically unrelated, I have a third story in the works that will connect them, making a sort of loose trilogy of books, all with similar themes. So be excited! No date for book three yet, but it’ll probably be early Spring 2018.
    5. Being Daniel will be set in Rochester, MN. I did a nine-month internship in Rochester over 2014-2015, and I thought it would be cool to set a story there. I set GYWH in a location I’d never actually been to (Newport/Jamestown, Rhode Island), so I decided to go easy on myself this time. Also, some of the themes in the book (anxiety, feeling lost, not really knowing yourself) were things I actually struggled with while living in Rochester.
    6. No will die in Being Daniel. There is, however, a dead character who is frequently referenced throughout the story. Sorry, guys. Death is a great literary tool and I can’t seem to write stories without it.

I hope you enjoyed these random facts/update on the progress of my next book. I’m trying to set up a schedule to be more consistent in blogging, so if there’s anything you’d be interested in having me blog about, let me know!

Thanks for reading and God bless,

Clare