An excerpt from the play I’m working on for a local homeschool group, currently titled Royal Bring Your Dog to Dinner Day.
(Messenger enters stage left)
Chef: Another message, Messenger?
Messenger: Naturally. (Shakes out the scroll) Ahem. A Message from Her Majesty the Queen to the Royal Chef. Dear Chef. The dogs will be arriving shortly.
Chef: Wait, wait, wait. Dogs? What does she mean, DOGS? And why are they arriving shortly? How long from now is shortly, exactly?
Messenger: Let me finish. Ahem. The Duchess and the Other Duchess and I are getting our nails done, we will be joining the dogs just as quick as we can. Give them a little appetizer and keep them entertained. They’re no trouble at all, I promise.
Chef: (wailing) No!
Messenger: (Finishing message) Thanks a million, you’re the best, love and hugs, Her Majesty the Queen.
Chef: Is there a postscript where she says haha, just kidding?
Messenger: There is not.
Chef: (putting head in hands) Of course not.
Sous: (patting the Chef on the shoulder) There, there, Chef. It’ll be okay.
Messenger: Any return message, Chef?
Chef: Uh…tell her it is our Royal Pleasure to watch the Royal Dogs.
Messenger: (giving the chef a thumbs up) I will do that. Hang in there, guys.
Chef: Yes, yes, thank you, Messenger, goodbye.
(Messenger exits stage right)
Chef: Anyone know how soon shortly is?
Commis 1: I guess shortly is over now.
(Reenter the Messenger stage right with Chubby and Tubby and one leash dragging behind him)
Messenger: May I present to the Royal Kitchen Staff, the Royal Dogs.
(The kitchen staff all bow to the royal dogs)
Commis 2: Not to be disrespectful, but isn’t there someone who’s job it actually is to watch the Royal Dogs? You know…maybe a Royal Dogsitter?
Messenger: There are actually five of them, but they all have the day off.
(Royal Kitchen Staff all groan)
Thanks for reading! God bless.
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